Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Bananas, Ice Cream, and Muscle Milk , Oh my!

Tom here. Huck and I are in between shows and ready for a nap! We just performed at a school here in Harrisonburg, VA! The entire school fit in the gym and we wowed them all! Last night went a little downhill. Before heading out for our gay extravaganza in Harrisonburg to the Artful Dodger, we decided food was in order, to keep us from getting empty stomach drunk. It hurts for me to even breath to hard so I had to get some soft foods. And since my fever had me asleep too long and no place was open I had to go to the gas station and scavage for soft baby type food. My first thought was a slim fast. Its filling and healthy and will keep me from being hungry later. I was snubbed and judged when asking the gas station attendant with missing teeth if they had slim fast so, I compiled a gourmet 3 course meal that consisted of a banana, Ice Cream, and Muscle Milk. It was amazing. We then made it to the artful dodger which was a pretty cool little place... It was a mix between The Foundry, The Record Bar, and Missie B's. Even though there were only maybe five people there including us. We were approached by a guy named Shadd ( he was named after the bible, he informed us) yadda yadda yadda. Long Story short. we had a beer and left and went and finally got my teething goodies. went home and crashed!

Ok so It has just occcured to me that we have told you about our first day on the road. So we make it to our first school just fine. Culpeper Christian School. When we go there we were greeted by a reporter. Thats right ladies and gentlemen, when you do a national tour people find out and they send the press out! So that show was a success the rest of the day however was HELL!!!! Literally. So we have put our entire faith and trust in a once reliable website known as... Mapquest. So I mapquested directions from the School in Culpeper to the School in Millers Tavern, VA. Which by the way no one in Culpeper had heard of this town. How odd is that, you live an hour from a town and you have never heard of it? So we are on our way and start off fine. Then we keep straight down this road like the directions tell us to do! We end up in a very windy very covered country road that doubles as a state highway. After about 45 minutes on this road we realize we are doing something wrong. Then after seeing several confederate flags waving proudly in the musty virignia wind we drive a little faster! Not exactly feeling a big gay welcome! So we end up in this small little town with a grocery store. KC goes in gets the address. I call Kipp who is by a computer and we mapquest again and re route. We were suppose to turn on this road, That I remember seeing, so we go back down the shawshank redemption road to find Indiantown Rd. Before finding it we end up in this other town. Now lets recap, to get to the first small town with that grocery store we drove almost an hour straight down a road. But getting back on it to find the road again we end up in this town and to the highway we need to get on? Wouldn't we have passed that getting there? So that mixed with the fact noone had heard of this town, we were certain that 9-23-08 would be that day we would die from getting involved in some twilight zone shit and a fake town we were being led to. But wait. theres more! We call kipp back to find out how long we were supposed to be on this highway for... and he pulls the directions back up and the directions on mapquest have changed from what they were before. SATAN WAS AT WORK BEFORE OUR VERY EYES! What was going on. All of a sudden I felt like JJ Abrams had taken control of my life and for the next 4 years I was either going to be starring on a sitcom about being lost in some island awaiting to give brain surgery to a man with bug eyes or i was going to be raped by a ex confederate soldier and shot in the woods! So we take this road we are now suppose to take and after a few minutes the road ends up being Someones driveway! We cry, we pee, we pray! We call the school get the right directions.. We mention mapquest to them, and you would have thought we said we were pagan witches who sacrafice bodies to demons and devils. Apparently you dont use mapquest in these parts. you either use the start or just spit and wherever the wind carries it you drive! Either way we made it ! And all is well. Did that town really exist? We will never know!

Man on toilet is high on pot!


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